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August 13, 2013
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When I woke up Hack was at the main computer.”Oh good mornings shadow,”he said vary calm. “Report,” I Yelled. “You have an Email from your cousin in Paris,” He told me. “looks like you and me get to go on a little trip hack.
I left a note that red:
Dear Every one
Me and hack Eye are taking a little trip to Paris. Well we are gone Clover is in charge. You WILL listen to her, do what she say's to, and treat her as if she was me. See you soon.
You friend
Shadow
“I hope they don't throw a party well we're gone,” Hack just had to say. “I hope you didn't just jinks us by saying that,”I tried to make him laugh. We borded in our plain with no one seeing us. “Good thing we have badge's that say we are secret agent's on a secret mission,” Hack blurted out. “Lets hope no one herd you ,” I whispered.
We got on the plain. I sat Quietly for a wile then Hack stated staring at me so I asked, “Is there a problem here Xander.”  Xander is his real name. “ya your not talking why is that,” I laughed at what he said. “I just cant what to  see my cousin,”I told him. “But oh never mined,” he said so mad I felt bad.
The next day I woke up Xander was still asleep so I said, “Xander wake up and that is a direct order!” he jump right up and yelled,”Yes Ashley!” I started laughing.”Hey...” I interrupted him,”Hey what's up?”I laughed.” Apparently us are wait what UHG.”  I made him rilly mad.
“Just a couple for hour's till landing,” I told Xander “So,” He gave me some sass. “So you should practice your French and that's an order,” I said gating mad my self. “oh ok,”He said rolling his eye's. I stared out the window.    

      “So what were you and your mom fighting about,” I asked. “Nothing that in portent,”He ceep's dodging my question's. “You know I'm just going to ceep asking till you answer me,” I told him. He stared to laugh. Then it was time to get off the plain.
We stated looking for my name. My real name is Ashley. “Hey is that your cousin over there,” Xander asked. “Yeah I wander what she wants,” I said rolling my eye's. “why do you say that,” I asked.
He never answered my question's, but that's ok. We started walking toed her. She was wearing a shirt that had a panda bare and a polar bare and said I'm like you but better. “Hey cuas,” she said. “what up,” I asked. “Well we should talk later about it,” she told me. “Ok,” me and Xander said at the same time.
:iconjzlobo:
JZLobo Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm sorry but this is unreadable. If you can't be bothered to spell words correctly and follow the rules of grammar, then the story must not be worth taking the time to read. And why should anyone be bothered to spend the extra time trying to figure out what words you were aiming for?

I realize you're young and have a lot to learn, but now is the time to develop your skills rather than let them wither. And surely by now you should have learned in school that a new paragraph is started every time someone new speaks. And proper capitalization rules.

If you want to be respected as a writer, then you have to show that you've put the appropriate amount of effort into your writing.
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